I first wrote my story in a twitlonger and lot of people said they were "inspired" and that is my aim in life...to inspire people to never ever give up and chase their dreams and happiness. So here's my story:
My real name's Ilinka but everyone knows me as Ina. I just turned 16 (Oct 26th) and I live in Bulgaria (a small country in East Europe that Justin Bieber has never heard of). I'm living with Mom and her parents (my grandparents). I've been on stage since I can remember myself which will be about when I was 4. I've been in school plays, giving speeches for new school years or the end of 7th grade (would never forget that) and so on. Everyone tells me I can sing and I love singing. I also love dancing but acting is what I would love to do for a living. And maybe things would've turned out another way for me from the way they're now. Read below to find out what I'm talking about.
My parents have been divorced for 15 years. I've seen my father 4 times and the last time he promised to buy me a bike and new jeans. Well.. I never got them. To tell you the truth, I was okay with not knowing my father. I was a kid when Mom and him divorced, so I didn't remember him and therefore I had no problem with it. But there was something far worse coming in my life....
When I was about 11 Mom got a boyfriend. Yeah, you're probably thinking 'So what?' and you're right! She needed someone by her side, though she had me and my grandparents. A guy is a guy, he brings special feelings to a woman. But that guy was NO good and I knew it.
One evening Mom didn't come home from work and I got REALLY worried. Grandma told me about her boyfriend and everything else is covered with tears. I stayed up all night crying my heart out 'cause until then it was just me and Mom against the world.
My crying over Mom not coming home from work started happening often - every 2 days or so. But then she suddenly stopped missing, she was coming home every evening and I was happy. It was me and her against the world again. We actually started going to this friend's house almost every evening and there was that guy also. I really liked him. I liked him that much that one evening I was thinking 'Ah, I wish he was my Daddy'. What happened that evening? We were walking home and he was walking with us, Mom told me to go ahead and I did as told. My curiosity took over though, so I turned and saw them kissing. I was happy and stuff, you know? They were together, my grandparents liked him a lot, too. Until one day her old boyfriend treathened that if she doesn't stop dating him, he would kill him.
Mom gave in and went back to the old boyfriend. Actually the next year we were going on vacation with him. The first night there she went to bed with him, I was little and got jealous. I started crying and she noticed it!! She knew I was crying and did nothing about it!! So I threw my pillow on the floor and my sheets also, and I started crying harder. A few minutes later her boyfriend got up from bed ANGRY!! Really angry and he started shouting. But that wasn't all of it..he was obviously so angry that he hit the ceiling and made a hole. My Mom got up and took me to the bathroom 'to wash my face from the tears'. Yeah, right! She was like 'Do u see what u're doing? Do u?' but I was still crying, so she hit me in the back really hard. That hit still has an effect on me, I get strong pains in the back sometimes. The rest of the vacation I just stayed quiet. I thought it was the best way..and it was.
Next year..going on vacation again! Mom told me I can get my best friend with me and that kinda made me feel secure so I did. Everything was OK, but one night Mom and her boyfriend asked us if we wanted to go to a club with them. I wasn't ok with the idea, but my bestie got excited and I couldn't disapoint her, so I said 'yes'. We went, they were playing that awful music we both hated (me and my bestie) so we wouldn't dance. My Mom got drunk, came to me and started dragging me on the dancefloor, while saying 'Come up and dance or else he wouldn't be happy.' The best part of it was when she started digging her fingernails in my hands. I couldn't stand the pain anymore and was crying like hell so I asked her boyfriend if my bestie and I could go back to the hotel and he let us. Another of my "cry your heart out" all nighters.
Nothing much happened the next year. I guess I grew up enough to not let her abuse me anymore. But I lost my faith in God 'cause "if he existed, he wouldn't have let that happen to me" or at least that was what I was thinking.
I became close with this guy who was miles away from me in Cali. He helped me through a lot but then Jan 30, 2009 he died. I started listening to metal thinking there was nothing left of my life. I hated God that I actually stopped believing he was real. I read all those satanic stuff and even joint this organization which wasn't the smartest thing I've done.
Everything seemed more of a Hell then a childhood. But 2010 brought me joy, love, faith - everything I've ever lost.
I started hearing the name Justin Bieber everywhere and was like "What's so special about this guy? Duh, I've of a lot of singers!". One day I got home, checked my email, saw one from twitter and opened my account (I had it but didn't use it). A wave of Beliebers blew me away so I decided to check his music out. I played "Love Me" and it made me smile. A single song made me smile.... and that hadn't happened for years back then! I checked a few more songs and felt a whole lot better.
A month later I read Justin's story and it inspired me to start chasing my dream again. Then I read his Mom's story and everything started making sense again. I started believing in God again, I got my life back. Everything was better. Thanks to Justin and Pattie I believe, I love, I laugh, I help, I smile, I dream! I'm not afraid to be myself, to tell the world who I am. I'm not afraid to tell them who I want to be and what I want to do.
I also wanna give credit to Christian and Caitlin Beadles. They're great inspirations too! Caitlin's accident made me cry and got me thinking...so thanks to her I now pray every night before bed, I treat everyone the way they deserve to be treated - with no hate, just love! Miley Cyrus also has a special place in my heart!
From all the Hell in the past few years I got anger issues that I'm trying really hard to put down and I'm slowly improving at it. Every day I wake up knowing that I don't feel like the other kids around me because I have these weird beats ( at first we thought it's my heart, but my test results were good, so we don't know what it is from ) and they are constant. But all the bad memories I've left in my past and when I think of them now I smile. I've been through this for a reason that only God knows. I've forgiven my Mom and I'm trying to straighen things up between us. It's still hard 'cause from all those years I got anger issues but I've learnt to control them.
DREAMS COME TRUE and everything happens for a purpose! Stay strong.. draw some rainbows:) GOD IS GOOD!
